The internet is a squalid place full of loners and drunks, whores and whingers. It is also where I work. Working on the internet (essentially decorating and rewiring websites like a common handyman) I sometimes question the value of what I do. To truly enjoy your work there has to be a greater motivation than just money. The greatest pleasure — according to Csikszentmihalyi — is when something is difficult enough to be perpetually challenging. Indeed, if you treat all tasks as if they were challenges rather than drudgery I find that motivation and enjoyment rise enormously.
If the best mindset for design is that of the problemsolver searching for elegant solutions, what is the best mindset for the writer? My initial reaction is that the writer should confidently trust his instinct rather than researching solutions — the best writing looks effortlessly accurate — but perhaps writers should spend more time problemsolving. Whether this is by employing different styles and voice, writing lots of drafts (indeed, Tom Hodgkinson tells me that this is the difference between the true writer and the hobbyist), or something else entirely I don’t know. I do know that daily writing is incredibly therapeutic for me.
Daily writing is the mental equivalent of seeing oneself on video for the first time. You know how it is, you set up the camera, deliver an eloquent speech and watch the tape back to see . . . a cretinous yokel yapping away. Your self-confidence is shattered, your self-image destroyed, but slowly and with repeated attempts you come to accept your yokel-self and incorporate him into who you are. Henceforth every video is an improvement on the last until you get to the point where you can’t see what all the fuss was about.
The same is true with blogging. I have written awful tosh, cliched nonsense, embarrassing portentous risible fluff, and yet it doesn’t really matter. It is all just therapy and nothing like what Sebastian Horsley said it was in his latest (and last) ejaculation:
I’ve had enough of this shit. The internet is for those who lack the flair for conversation. A blog is what you write for after being rejected by all the reputable publishers. It is Loser Central. The last refuge of the refuse. Anyone who has a blog or leaves comments on a blog is a wanker. It is far too undignified for a man of my stature. That it attracts such bitterness is not surprising. For one person spoilt by success, a thousand are spoilt by failure. Success makes people, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel. I can make no more of you than a hedgehog. You are too dull to be ridiculous.
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